Back at it...

Here I go.

The Home Stretch.

I know I can do it,

I am really looking forward to this end of this chapter, but it is going to be a long one.

One day at a time

Jeremy Camp

One day at a time I will walk this road I've traveled so far
One day at a time well I know I will carry on
One day at a time I can see you took my life this far
One day at a time I will take this faith along

All this hope I breathe is given by the hand that carries me
Until I'm complete and I'll take all I will
To understand this plan you have for me, for me

I've been shut up shut down held out held down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel your fullness in my life
Well I've been burned out broken torn out torn down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel your fullness in my life

one day at a time

One day at a time I will take these words you've given me
One day at a time I will rest in knowing you
One day at a time I will share this gift you've given me
One day at a time I will walk these valleys through

And all I know is that I see
How much my heart is longing to be cradled by your side
Yeah, I'll give all I can
To one day soon be held by your hand, by your hand

In all these things I will press on, yeah
I'll be with you I know it won't be long

a NEW year

2010...

Time for a new year... a beginning, an end...

the end of one thing, start of another...

5 more months. then do i stay? or go?

I really need to focus on God leading me,

that I may put away my own desires, be still, and hear God's voice

God, hear my cry.

Your child is here.

That I may know you and make you known.

2 Corinthians 3:16-18

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Here's to the new year... each day... each moment...

That I may grow closer to my Father

and experience His abundance.

Consistency

One thought has been driving further and further into my soul lately... the idea of Consistency. It seems like it should not be that hard to stay true to character or have actions match words... But over and over I find a lack of congruency... Its like an epidemic. We think we can be whoever, whenever, that whatever is relevant to us for the moment can determine the outcome... But what happened to being compelled by Christ living in us to live from the inside out. Where did the consistency of character and integrity go? Are we so taken by the moment or the instant pleasure that we lose sight of who we are putting on a temporary mask or covering up the true identity... Who are we? Who do we want to be? It is not so much what we do, but the fact that who we are compels what we do should trigger the depths of our hearts...

Cassie Bernall once said, "I just try not to contradict myself" "I just want to get rid of all the hypocrisy and live for Jesus Christ" Are we too overwhelmed by this world to remember who we are? Day in and day out we say one thing do another. How can we be okay living like that? Contradiction leaves room for doubt. It takes away trust. It contradicts consistency. Living in the light takes away those shadows that we try to hide. By coming to terms with who we are, even if we are struggling we are still being consistent knowing that we are weak on our own. Christ is our strength.

The life of Christ is not about a list of rules and regulations. But out of our heart we are compelled to live like Christ. The Bible does not say do not live like the devil, it says "SHINE". Shine like Christ. Be a light in the dark. We have to remember who we are. We cannot focus on the things that hold us back but the power we have in Christ.

You know what... stuff happens. We have to let the past refine us, not define us. We must keep moving forward, getting stuck is an obstacle to Christ's work in our life. If we are not growing we are dying. I feel like so often we all get so stuck on our own islands. We are stubborn and stuck with our eyes on ourself. We feel alone, like we are the only ones feeling a burden, but Christ has already taken that burden. We are all going through things, why don't we come along side and help each other move on. We would rather have our own little pity parties and just let our minds dwell in it. We either just want to let our minds be controlled by fear and doubt or try to blame everything else except for looking in the mirror and taking an evaluation of ourself.

I want to live my life not to contradict myself. So as I continue to find out who I am I have to stay true to the fact that I am inadequate, I am unworthy, I am human, but I am also a child of God and living in respect and obedience of his reverent power I can live knowing that I am loved. His love compels me. So I act out of what I have the opportunity to do, not be constrained by the things that I should not do. Because a life with Christ is so much greater, I can experience so much more, and I can live looking forward, moving forward, and being a consistent disciple of my Savior and Lord. While I may fall, my faith and love will never waiver, because I know who I am, and the TRUTH guides me towards significance and freedom as I identify myself with Abba Father.

Consistency...

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

One of my favorite books: Ruthless Trust, by Brennan Manning

So often I try to understand, asking why, how, what, or when. Jesus wants me to reply, "I trust you I will follow you". If I say I love JEsus why sometimes do I have such a hard time trusting... Each day I pray "I love you Jesus, help my lack of trust" Life is a journey and we must follow the true purpose

"Ruthless Trust is an unerring sense, way deep down, that beneath the surface agitation, boredom and insecurity of life, it's gonna be all right. Ill winds may blow, more character defects may surface, sickness may visit, and friends will surely die. But a stubborn, irrefutable certainty persists that God is with us and loves us in our struggle to be faithful. A nonrational, absolutely true intuition perdures that there is something unfathomably big in the universe (kabod/glory), something that points to Someone who is filled with peace and power, love and undreamed of creativity -- Someone who inevitably will reconcile all things in himself. . .

Why does our trust offer such immense pleasure to God? Because trust is the pre-eminent expression of love. Thus, it may mean more to Jesus when we say, 'I trust you,' than when we say, 'I love you.'

Where am I in all this? With you, clasping hands each morning and crying out in union, "Lord Jesus, I trust you, help my lack of trust." (pp. 180-181)

Victorious limp

My world has been rocked lately by Brennan Manning's book RAGAMUFFIN GOSPEL... This is some of the excerpt I read today and I just had to copy the best parts. 

The biblical image of the victorious life reads more like the victorious limp. Jesus was victorious not because He never flinched, talked back, or questions, but having flinched talked back, and questioned, He remained faithful…. Our whole understanding of God is based in a quid pro quo of bartered love. He will love us if we are good, moral, and diligent. But we have turned the tables so that he will love us, rather than living because he has already loved us. (175-177)

Faithfulness requires the courage to risk everything on Jesus, the willingness to keep growing, and the readiness to risk failure throughout our lives… Risking everything on Jesus: the ragamuffins gospel says we can’t lose, because we have nothing to lose. Faithfulness to Jesus implies that with all our sins, scars, and insecurities, we satnd with Him; that we are formed and informed by His Word… The willingness to keep growing: Unfaithfulness is a refusal to become, a rejection or grace (grace that is inactive is an illusion), and the refusal to be oneself… The readiness to risk failure: Many of us are haunted by our failure to have done with our lives what we longed to accomplish. This disparity between our ideal self and our real self, the grim specter of past infidelities, the awareness that I am not living what I believe, the relentless pressure of conformity, and the nostalgia for lost innocence reinforces a nagging sense of existential guilt: I have failed. This is the cross we never expected, and the one we find hardest to bear. (185-186)

The ragamuffin who sees his life as a voyage of discovery and runs the risk of failure has a better feel for faithfulness than the timid man who hides behind the law and never finds out who he is at all. Winston Churchill said “success is never final; failure is never fatal. It is the courage that counts.” (187)

Letter to my team(4/6):

One pitch at a time, one inning at a time, live in the moment to rise up and dig deep within yourself to find that desire, that drive to be the best you can be. Achieving greatness isn't succeeding every time, but it is giving it everything you have, the best that you have, and waking away knowing you gave it your all. If you go out and do what you know you can do, you will end up on top. God has gifted each one of you with certain talents and strengths. Live up to your potential. Let your talents play for the glory of God. Let your strengths shine as you come together as one team, as one unit, as one family. Where you are weak, another is strong, that is why you need each one of your teammates. Edify and build up one another, encouraging each player to achieve their own possible greatness. And with great power and confidence rest in the fact that God is your ultimate source of strength. With him, everything is possible.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, who face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but

 who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion,, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the e

nd the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt

It's our house, our game... Their blood their pain.." Have courage today. Dare greatly. Strive valiantly. Focus on your wins, not failures. Take every loss as an opportunity to learn. Rather than win loss it is win learn. Change your perspective so every setback is just a stepping stone to you getting better. If you don't get a hit, take that chance to learn, grow, step up. WINLEARN! not winlose. When you are giving your best, that is what is asked of you. So we are either succeeding or becoming

 aware of ways we can get better. Therefore, we never fail. There's only room for rising up in each moment. Give it your best, give it your all. Believe in yourse

lf and believe in eachother. I believe in you.

choosing

Every day is a choice... A choice to live for a purpose, live for something you created. We were created to life life to the fullest, to experience greatness in who we can be. Not success, but significance. Significance is who you are, not what you do. Choosing the other option, you choose to go through the motions of life, the complacency and lack of effort.  But we must desire to choose the straight and narrow. There is one way... choose wisely.