One of my favorite books: Ruthless Trust, by Brennan Manning

So often I try to understand, asking why, how, what, or when. Jesus wants me to reply, "I trust you I will follow you". If I say I love JEsus why sometimes do I have such a hard time trusting... Each day I pray "I love you Jesus, help my lack of trust" Life is a journey and we must follow the true purpose

"Ruthless Trust is an unerring sense, way deep down, that beneath the surface agitation, boredom and insecurity of life, it's gonna be all right. Ill winds may blow, more character defects may surface, sickness may visit, and friends will surely die. But a stubborn, irrefutable certainty persists that God is with us and loves us in our struggle to be faithful. A nonrational, absolutely true intuition perdures that there is something unfathomably big in the universe (kabod/glory), something that points to Someone who is filled with peace and power, love and undreamed of creativity -- Someone who inevitably will reconcile all things in himself. . .

Why does our trust offer such immense pleasure to God? Because trust is the pre-eminent expression of love. Thus, it may mean more to Jesus when we say, 'I trust you,' than when we say, 'I love you.'

Where am I in all this? With you, clasping hands each morning and crying out in union, "Lord Jesus, I trust you, help my lack of trust." (pp. 180-181)